No, this post is not about the weather! :)
What this post IS about is this strange pattern I see show up year after year in January! Here’s what it looks like. January (and the lead up to it in December) always start off with a bang. I spend hours reflecting, getting inspired and jotting down life-changing goals. This period is akin to what I imagine a drug high feels like until, that is, the inevitable crash happens (usually around the 2nd week in January). At that point I feel like crap and all this gross stuff surfaces – doubt, gremlins, fear, etc. No matter what I do to prevent it, I inevitably run the course and end up back here.
This year’s ‘January Discontent’ feels centered around my business. I set all these BOLD goals and now I’m not so sure that I really want them.
The confusing thoughts that keep swirling through my head are:
- Maybe I want to slow down and make space for a baby to come into my life INSTEAD of ramping up my business…
- Maybe I don’t have to be a rock-start 6 figure coach right away since I plan to do this for 30 years…
- Maybe I’m not cut out to be an entrepreneur…
What I can’t seem to distinguish is if slowing down my biz purposely is my natural desire or just a way of hiding out and not having to step into my ‘bigness’. How does one tell?
What is Work?
I’ve always placed a high value on ‘working’ but I notice lately that my definition of work is changing. Some days I wonder if my truest work is unpaid and if I could feel content with that. I’m also feeling the mommy itch and know that I’ll want to devote 100% of my energy to doing that well. Finally, I’m noticing this increased desire to pursue my hobbies and volunteer passions – things like organizing fundraising drives, blogging, learning graphic design, improving my photography. That too could be considered work, just the unpaid kind. All of these feel like they’re competing for my interest and attention, yet there is no clear winner.
I am fortunate in that our lifestyle allows for me to choose any of these paths and have it be okay financially, the problem is that I have mental barriers around deviating from the norm. What would it look like to choose unpaid work for the time being and would I be able to shift my belief around value being measured only by income? I honestly don’t know the answer yet, but I am comforted knowing that my husband does not share my limiting views around how value can be measured.
What say you blog readers? I could use some powerful questions or insights to guide some reflection around this. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me find clarity around this.