From my dear friend Tia Sparkles, to brighten my week! I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I did… and do let me know which one made you laugh the hardest!
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
That Little Triangle
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
~PS, you let go
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
I’m sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn’t hear you over my health care benefits.
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin Beiber
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now?
Leonardo Di Caprio
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
At least you get picked up…
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.