The Anatomy of a Perfect Husband-less Day

Around Manila
June 20, 2010

So, you all know that I’m a big fan of my husband and the time we spend together.  But once and a while it just so happens that I’m on my own for a few days when he’s on a work trip.  Now, I could easily choose a mopey, lonely perspective from which to while away the hours…. or I could decide to see this time as a gift – a chance to re-live my single girls days, so to speak.  And that’s exactly what I did.

But first, a little background on the wife-ification of Sarah which will help you understand why this was such a big deal for me.  Back in the day, I was known for my ability to go from sun-up to sun-down.  With 8 hours of sleep to fuel my energy, I could easily do a workout at 6 AM, a 9 hour workday and an MBA class or social outing at night.  You see, in the Miller family we were conditioned to be “doers”.  And this was fine and dandy up until I met Mr. Nicholas.  You see, Nick was more into “being” than “doing”.  As you might imagine, this created a bit of tension in our new relationship….

I remember some of the first weekends we spent together dating.  Being the planner that I was, I’d propose some elaborate 12 hour date idea that left him reeling.  He on the other hand, would propose that we watched the Master’s all day or perhaps took a nap and read our books together.  No seriously, I was actually offended by his suggestions at times.  Why would we do something together that would be just as enjoyable doing on our own??!  It made no sense to me.  What a waste of perfectly good time that could be spent in deep conversation or at an art museum!

I was starting to become a bit anxious about our time together, especially on Saturdays and Sundays when we had big blocks of time to fill.  One day he suggested a compromise.  Saturday would be “My Day” and I was allowed to schedule anything I wanted between the hours of 8 AM and 8 PM and he would do it without complaining.  But on Sunday or “His Day” I had to sit my behind on the couch ALL DAY and do nothing with him (and not complain about it).  My only choices at this point were to agree to the plan or stop dating him, so I gave it a try.

It’s hard not to laugh when we look back on this period in our history.  For example, Nick would take Friday night to “prepare” for the big Saturday of events.  And on Sunday I unpacked my backpack full of things to keep me occupied on the couch, including my journal, a book, magazines, homework, cell phone etc.  I would spread it all around me and meet the requirements of the deal without actually having to learn how to “be”.  We were quite the pair.  Eventually we began to ease up and I scheduled naps into the Saturday routine and he let me add in breakfast out on Sunday.  We’ve now found a very comfortable mix that we continue to tweak over time.  That being said though, the max number of activities that can now be scheduled in a given day is 2, preferably 1!

So imagine my delight when I realized I could fill my entire Saturday!  Oh JOY OF JOYS!  Here’s how it ended up playing out, for those of you that are curious:

9:30 AM: Leave the house and go to the Farmer’s market (one of my favorite Saturday traditions)

10 AM: Stop by a friend’s house and watch their baby eat her first bit of apples

11 AM: Proceed to the next friend’s house for a morning of girl talk

1 PM: Cross the street to get a 90 minute massage with the same friend

3PM: Return to the house to indulge in a late lunch (still with the same friend)

4 PM: Say good-bye to my friend and head over to an Ice Cream Social happening at another friend’s house

5:30 PM: Return home to fit in a quick Skype date with my husband so he doesn’t think I’m ignoring him

6:15 PM: Transit Time

7 PM: Enjoy an all-you-can-drink Wine Bar & live music with another Gal Pal at the Shangri-la EDSA Lobby Lounge

11 PM: Hug my friend good-night

11:30 PM: Tumble into bed exhausted after the perfect “husband-less” day

And that’s how you maximize a day folks!  I’m pretty proud of myself…

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  1. Ahahahhahahaha I can’t stop laughing!! You are so adorable :D Glad you had this day to be do and have all you want and glad you’ve got a nice ‘adjustment’ with Nick (staying away from the word compromise ;) What an exhausting day!

    I must admit, I have days where I am ALL Nick and days where I am ALL Sarah so I’m curious what my man is going to be like .. hehe. Thanks for the giggles sweetness xo Tia

  2. Chris Coleman says:

    Sounds like my kind of day!!

  3. minnesotagal says:

    I know Tia- I always imagined my man being a male version of me, but I’ve found that he’s really helped me change for the better. I’m more balanced now and I really appreciate that. Do keep me posted on where your guy falls on the spectrum and how that impacts you!

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