Baby Novak

Baby Nia Makes Her Grand Entrance

by Sarah Novak on October 22, 2011

We are delighted to announce that after a 14 hour labor, we welcomed a healthy baby girl into our family.  Her name is Nia Marisa Novak and she weighed in at 7 lbs 8 oz.  She was 20 inches in length and born at 12:39 PM in the afternoon on Saturday, October 22nd (we went into labor at 10 PM on her due date the 21st).  We are enjoying getting to know her, as she has quite the little personality!  Here are a few of the shots we captured during the birth.  Everyone in our family is exhausted but great!  Thanks for the love and support these last 9 months…

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FINALLY, Some Progress!

by Sarah Novak on October 20, 2011

So, tomorrow (October 21st) is my official due date.  I had what I **HOPE** will be my last Doctor appointment this morning and was THRILLED to finally get some uplifting news.  Here’s what we found out:

  • I am 1 cm dilated!
  • I am 50% effaced (that’s where the cervix thins out from 4 cm to 0)!
  • Nia is sitting at 0 Station, which means the top of her head is aligned with my pelvis.  There are 7 possible stations ranging from +3 (high up in the uterus) to -3 (the baby is crowning).  The Doctor thought it was a very good sign that she’s already so low, as it means I have a nice wide pelvis that her head fits into.
  • My sciatica also has let up, a sign that she’s moving downward.
  • The Doctor’s guess is that Nia will come out around 7 pounds.

I am feeling over the moon right now!  I think there’s a good chance this baby may be here by Monday… please send us your prayers and good energy.  I’m going to need the support to make it through labor!

 

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I had an experience on Wednesday that gave new meaning to the phrase “Rolling Out the Red Carpet.”  It was, hands down, one of the most exceptional service experiences I have ever had.  I imagine you are trying to guess where this incredible service took place.

Nordstrom’s?  Nope.

Trader Joe’s?  Uh Uh.

The Apple Store?  Not this time.

Do I have you stumped?  Well it was none other than a Pediatrician’s Office.  Yup, we were Pediatrician shopping and this was merely one of many consults that Nick and I were doing.  We had not ‘chosen them’ yet, nor did we pay anything for this consult.  Here’s an overview of our experience:

Nick and I arrived at 5:30 PM on Wednesday night for our consult.  We were told to expect a brief tour and the chance to talk to someone on staff.  Most offices do consults in groups, so I was expecting that we’d be one of many there.  Our experience ended up being vastly different than that.  Turns out it was a private consult and we got called in around 5:45 PM and taken back to the Doctor’s personal office where we were given drinks.  Instead of being left to wait alone (while the Doctor wrapped up with a last-minute patient), the office manager sat down and talked to us for the next half hour.

She gave us an overview of the practice, telling us about their philosophies and procedures.  This was all fine and dandy, but I was still a bit annoyed that we were essentially waiting 45 minutes to talk to the Doctor for what I assumed would be a brief 5 minute conversation.  It was hard to stay annoyed because the office manager was so darn nice.  It was also clear that she ADORED the Doctor.

She told a sweet story about an older gentleman their office had “adopted”.  He was a patient (they are a family practice clinic, not just a pediatrician’s office) and after he’d lost his family, he was clearly struggling.  He had a desire to write a book and a need to be around people, so the good Doctor suggested he just come to the office each day and spend the day hanging out in the waiting room writing his book.  He did just that and became a very popular fixture in the waiting room.  Over time, he wasn’t getting much writing done out there, so the Doctor suggested he move to her private office and work there.  And so there he sits each day, enjoying a mixture of reading, writing and napping in her office.  My heart melted over this story and I knew it was a great indicator of what the Doctor’s character would be.

At 6:15 this boisterous, larger-than-life personality walks into the room and announces herself as Dr. Mary Ellen Gallagher.  She immediately shrugs off her white coat, lets her hair down and addresses us like we’re long-time friends.  I couldn’t stop staring.  She takes out a sheet of blank paper and starts writing things about us.  Not medical things, but personal stuff like what we do for our jobs, where we’re from, where we’ve lived, etc.

She was chatty and relaxed; I truly believed that there was nowhere else she wanted to be than right there getting to know us.  She was genuine, fully present with us and 100% invested in our agenda – in fact, she was everything that a good coach is!  I was awed.

The funny thing is, I had a hard time receiving the gift of this experience.  The more she relaxed into our time together, the more agitated I became.  I stared at the picture of her 5 children behind her head and felt guilty for keeping her from them.  I watched the time tick by on the clock and made up stories about how this was too much, how we didn’t deserve her time since we weren’t paying for this or had made no commitment to join her practice.  Now mind you, none of this was being projected from her, it was all my own issue because I was uncomfortable with the generosity of her time and attention.  Amazing how much easier it is to give than receive, huh?

When all was said and done, she had spent over 45 minutes with us (it was after 7 PM when we left).  We had her pager, home and cell phone numbers and her genuine insistence that we never be afraid to call her at any time of day.  In fact, she went so far as to share ‘what not to do stories’ about parents who had driven themselves mad trying to decide whether or not to call.  Her message was very clear: CALL ME, ANYTIME!

Nick and I walked out of that office beaming, knowing that we didn’t need to do any more interviews, and delighting in the fact that we had just had an exceptional service experience.  If you live in the Northern Virginia/DC Area, I cannot recommend this practice enough:

Northern Virginia Internal Medicine and Pediatrics, P.C.

Mary Ellen Gallagher, M.D.
2501 North Glebe Road
Suite 301
Arlington, VA 22207
Phone: 703.527.6664

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38 Weeks and Counting…

by Sarah Novak on October 10, 2011

Baby is slowly starting to make her way down.  Hopefully it’ll be any time now that we’re welcoming Nia into the world. . .

 

 

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Scrapping the Birth Plan

by Sarah Novak on October 6, 2011

In case it isn’t obvious, I’ve got some MAJOR control issues surfacing around this whole birth thing.  This is frustrating for a variety of reasons, but most notably because I’ve done a ton of personal work on this in the past and largely eliminated it from several areas of my life.

I imagine that it is triggering me so intensely for a couple reasons:

  1. The birth signifies the beginning of a massive new chapter in our life and I always get a wee bit anxious during transition periods.  And when anxiety shows up for me, control usually likes to join the party as well.
  2. I feel very vulnerable with the idea of birth and the fact that it’s not just MY BIRTH, but Nia’s as well.  Vulnerability inevitably causes fear for me, which I then try to mask with control.  All an illusion of course, but pretending to be in control feels so much better than embracing the vulnerability (just being honest…)

SOOO, if I truly believe that control is simply an illusion (which I do), then it dawned on me that this whole idea of a birth plan is encouraging this bad behavior.

Now, let me clarify.  I KNOW how I’d like my birth to ideally play out.  My care team knows my preferences and so does my husband.  I realized that’s enough.  I don’t need to write it all up in bullet points and tack it to my hospital room door so that I can check off each thing as it happens (or beat myself up when it doesn’t).  Again, it just mentally reinforces this illusion that I have some semblance of control over this process.

So there you have it.  I’m scrapping the formal birth plan. I’m clear on what my birthing ‘wish list’ is, have had the conversations I need to have and now simply just need to let go of it and embrace the experience for whatever it is.  As with all intention setting, the first step is to be clear on what you want, put it out into the Universe, and then release all attachment asking for “This or something better.”

You see, I’ve been too attached to the way the birth looks, to the ‘doing’ part of it.  My coach helped me realize that I need to spend my time focusing on what I want the experience of birth to be like, essentially the ‘being’ part of the birth.  It is very possible that the events (or doing part) could play out in a variety of different ways and I could still have the ‘being experience’ that I want.

Isn’t that a cool A-HA?  So instead of focusing on the circumstances that may be out of my control, I simply focus on how I want to be present for the birth (no matter how it plays out).  Happily, that is something that’s within my power!  Stay tuned to see what new revelations show up in these last few weeks.  If there’s one thing I can say for sure about this process, it’s that the learning seems to be non-stop!

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A Brief History of My Relationship with My Body

I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about when I say “my relationship with my body’.  Surprisingly, we all have one.  Think of it as a lens that we view our body through.  Much like any relationship in our lives, we choose both the perspective that we view it from and the time and energy we invest into it.

Once I started noticing that I had a perspective on my body, I became aware of the wide variety of ways in which people view (and consequently treat) their bodies.  Perspectives I have seen include:

  • “My Body is a Temple” – This person meditated, practiced yoga, ate organic foods and got regular massages.
  • My Body is merely a Physical Container” (one of my old body perspectives) – I took my body for granted, didn’t think about what I put into it and expected it to perform under any condition (stress, sickness, etc).  I did no caretaking of it whatsoever.
  • “My Body is Miraculous” – This cancer survivor became awed by the healing capability of his body and upon entering remission, started to put his body through incredible physical trials to honor the powerful thing that it was.

Those are just a few examples, but I’m sure you have others to contribute.  Anyhow, upon more reflection I realized that I’ve always viewed my body in a negative light.  Without ever putting it in words until this year, I realized I firmly believed:

I GOT STUCK WITH A CRAP BODY.

This limiting belief goes back as far as grade school when I failed miserably at sports (and was often picked last for teams) and was strengthened during my Senior year of high school when I got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in my entire body (a chronic, life-long disease).  Those two in themselves would have been enough to cement this belief, but my body perspective took another hit when I went into a depression period around age 25.  During that dark time I began to have body-related anxiety (mostly around injury) and totally and completely saw my body as weak, frail and incapable of healing.  Not only did this take a major toll on me physically, but it also had a huge impact on my confidence (ie: if I couldn’t count on my body anymore, what makes me think my mind can cut it…).

Time passed and I did my best to resolve these thoughts with my coaches and therapists.  The thing is, limiting beliefs are tricky little buggers.  They lie in your subconscious mind and get accepted as truth over time.  That’s why they’re so hard to dismantle!  First we have to become aware of the belief, decide it’s not serving us anymore and then go about creating a new, more healthy belief to replace it.

I guess you could say that’s where I am right now with my body relationship.  I recognize that this old “MY BODY IS CRAP” belief is outdated and limiting.  It doesn’t fit me anymore and I desperately want to view my body in a new light.  And even as a coach with all my fancy tools and self-awareness, I still know this is going to be a hard one for me to change.

Could Natural Birth Be the Answer?

When I initially found out I was pregnant, I did what I believe many women do, which is to assume that I wouldn’t be able to handle the pain and therefore planned to get an epidural.  This fit perfectly with the lens I viewed my body through at that time and I knew it would have been a perfectly acceptable path.

However….somewhere in the midst of reading hundreds of birth stories, it dawned on me that a natural, unmedicated birth could be the PERFECT way for me to see my body in a whole new way.  To RECLAIM my body for the MIRACULOUS thing that it is and see it as POWERFUL, CAPABLE, WHOLE and RESILIENT for once.  In order to do that though, I’d have to not only be focused on the end goal (a healthy baby) but the experience of labor as well (seeing it as equally transformative and empowering).  For me, that was the ultimate challenge and one that I desperately wanted to say yes to.

But Can I Really Do It?

Honestly, I don’t know.  Does any woman really know until she’s in the middle of it?

What I do know is that I’ve put my intention of having an unmedicated birth out into the Universe.  I’ve selected a care team that knows my wishes and will encourage and motivate me when I want to quit.  I’ve done the mindset work to deal with fear issues that will surely arise during the experience.  And now I must simply let go and recognize that it is not my birth to control, it’s Nia’s.

At times I feel the desire to control this process rise up in me so strongly that I just want to scream, “I WILL NOT FAIL.”  Because that’s how I saw it at first.  If I didn’t fulfill my desire of having a natural birth, then somehow I had failed my child, myself and my body (losing what I perceived as my ONE CHANCE to reclaim my body and forever change my relationship with it).  Yes, extreme I know.  That’s how my thoughts often tumble out when tinged with anxiety.  Thankfully, both my husband and my coach called me on it and I did some powerful work to let go of the need for control.

Which brings me to where I am now.  I sincerely hope that I get my dream of having an unmedicated vaginal birth, but if it is not to be, then I intend to be gentle with myself; gracefully accepting where my personal limits lie.  In closing, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes that reinforces my current mindset,

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

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37 Weeks and Still Growing…

by Sarah Novak on September 30, 2011

Well folks, we’ve reached the 37 week mark and with all the recent pain in my legs from her compressing my sciatic nerve, I’m VERY ready for her to come out.  And technically, I’m full term, so we’re good to go at any point from here on out (even though my official due date is October 21st).  Doesn’t look like it’ll be anytime soon though because at my appointment today I was 0 centimeters dilated.  However, I’m staying optimistic and per my doctor’s recommendation, am going to start taking daily Red Raspberry Tea and Evening Primrose Oil supplements in the hopes of naturally inducing labor.  Time to get this show on the road… Mama is impatient!

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I Knew It was Too Good to Last

by Sarah Novak on September 27, 2011

I am officially registering a complaint!

At 36 1/2 weeks, pregnancy is no longer fun.  Yes, up until Saturday, I would have told you that I was having a jolly good time being pregnant.  I felt like my tummy was relatively compact and sitting higher up (which was nice for my bladder).  My body felt great physically – no aches, lots of energy, no waddling even!  And honestly, it’s been good like this since the end of the first trimester, so after 22 weeks of feeling awesome, I kind of forgot that pregnancy could suck.

And just like that, all the goodness went away.  I had a tough night sleeping and woke on Sunday to find my ankles swollen.  My belly also started to drop, which added pressure to my bladder (although I’m getting a break on all the rib kicks).  What’s worse though is that the weight of the baby is pressing on my sciatic nerve, which is causing shooting pains to run from my low back all the way down my leg.  Little did I know what was coming though…

I awoke Monday morning and the leg pain was still there, but when I went to stand up, my leg gave out on me!  No lie, for the last 24 hours I’ve been unable to put any pressure on my right leg!  It’s horrible – I’m super immobile and have to hobble to get around the apartment.  I’ve been massaging it like crazy but can’t seem to get any relief.  The idea of dealing with this for the next 4 weeks seems dreadful, but I’ve been told by my doctor that there isn’t anything you can do about sciatic nerve pain (because it’s a nerve, not a muscle).  I am open to ideas through, so if you’ve dealt with anything similar, please let me know if you found any relief!

Until then, I’ll be mourning the loss of my mobility and keeping my eye on the prize.  Maybe Nia will decide to have pity on her mama and come a few weeks early…

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Take THAT Postpartum Depression!

by Sarah Novak on September 20, 2011

Fact: 10-15% of women are affected by postpartum depression (PPD).

Fact: If you have a history of depression in your past, you are 30% MORE LIKELY than the average woman to get postpartum depression (PPD).

Reality: Given my history of anxiety/depression, there’s a strong chance I could end up dealing with PPD.

So what am I doing about it?

Not being one to sit around to ‘wait and see’, I’m setting up my support/resource network now IN THE UNFORTUNATE EVENT that I do end up with PPD.  And what does that mean, you ask?

Well, first off, it means that I’ve remained on my anti-anxiety meds (prozac) throughout the pregnancy and will continue to stay on them after the birth.  I know for a fact that it made the difference during the first trimester when I was on the edge of depression and I trust that it will help regulate my hormones post-birth as well.

Second, I’ve sought out a therapist that specializes in PPD.  I met with her today to establish a relationship in case I need to see her regularly after the birth.  It was challenging finding a therapist that specializes in PPD and takes insurance (for some odd reason a large number of practitioners in town accept NO insurance plans).  I happened to come across a unique community clinic that just started up at George Washington University.  They accommodate all financial situations, so it ended up being something we could afford even though they don’t technically take insurance either.

The clinic is called The 5 Trimesters Wellness Clinic and supports women from preconception to parenthood.  It is staffed by Dr. Dawn Flosnik, a Resident at GWU.  Her offices are located in the Medical Faculty Associates Building at 2150 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington DC 20037.  Appointments are a mere $40 for the initial intake and $10 for each session after that.  Appointments can be scheduled at 202-741-2888.

I’m thrilled to have found this practice and will be using them to help put my last piece into place, which is identifying postpartum support groups in the area.  It’s comforting to know that although I can’t control if PPD happens to me, I can be proactive about how I’m going to respond to it.

To the other pregnant mommas out there, if you have a history of depression in your background, consider establishing support relationships NOW instead of waiting until you’re in the thick of things.  I’ll leave you with a short listing of resources I’ve found on the topic:

Resources specific to DC/Northern Virginia:

  1. http://www.postpartumva.org/wheretogethelp.html

General Resources about PPD:

  1. http://www.postpartum.net/
  2. http://pacemoms.org/

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Meet the Novak ‘Birthing and Postpartum Team’

by Sarah Novak on September 15, 2011

I’ve been a girl on a mission this last week.  While the setting up house was important insomuch as it made Nick and I feel more at ease, the critical issue at hand was putting together our birthing and postpartum team for Baby Nia’s delivery (who is due 5 weeks from tomorrow).  While there are many aspects of our life that I love, finding my 3rd OBGYN for this pregnancy would not be one of them.  It’s overwhelming enough to come into a new city and set up shop, let alone make major life decisions in a short amount of time.  Thankfully, God and the Universe continue to be on our side and the resources miraculously showed up as needed.  Please allow me to introduce…. the NOVAK BIRTHING AND POSTPARTUM TEAM

Meet our OBGYN – Dr. Michelle Tham Metz

I arrived in DC with two consults on the calendar (one midwife, one OBGYN).  The first consult was with a Midwife at Washington Hospital Center.  Since I’m big on trying for an unmedicated birth, I fully expected the midwife to be the one I chose.  We totally clicked (how could we not, she was a Midwesterner after all).  The problem: she was due 3 days after me with her third child.  Unfortunately, statistics show that she’ll most likely deliver on time or early since she’s birthed before and I will most likely deliver anywhere from on time to 10 days late.  And if she was unavailable, I’d be delivered by one of the OBGYN partners who I’ve never met.  Not ideal.

Next up was a consult with Dr. Michelle Tham Metz of GW Medical Faculty Associates at George Washington University and Hospital.  I picked her for my second consult because after extensive research on the DC Urban Moms Forum, she was the OBGYN in the area most known for being ‘natural birth friendly’.  In fact, at our first appointment she referred to herself as the Midwife OB (which I totally loved).  She and I clicked right away and I was delighted to find that not only were our philosophies in line, but that George Washington University Hospital was the most progressive I’ve ever seen in terms of natural-birth friendly procedures.

Examples of this include:

  • Birthing rooms with squatting bars, birth balls, tubs and showers
  • No episiotomies
  • Food and Drink allowed throughout birth (super RARE to find)
  • Standard intermittent monitoring (versus required constant monitoring) and wireless telemetry units in the event that you do need constant monitoring and still want to be able to move around
  • Standard Hep locks instead of IV’s (again, encouraging mobility)
  • No constant inquiries about whether you want medication
  • Minimal interventions
  • Rooming in with baby
  • Delayed cord cutting if desired
  • Immediate nursing encouraged and supported by in-hospital lactation consultants
  • A Level 3 NICU in the event that anything should go wrong

Honestly, I don’t think it gets any better than this.  Oh wait, did I mention that she makes it a practice to deliver the majority of her patients (to the tune of 85%).  Lucky, lucky me!  I am thanking my lucky stars that I found Dr. Metz…

Meet our Doula and Lactation Team – Gentle Waves Birth Services

Once the OBGYN was secured, it was time to look for a doula (a birth assistant, for those who are unfamiliar).  I scoured the online forums once again and came across several that were both highly recommended and in our price range (doula services are not yet covered by insurance, although you can use Flexible Spending Account money to pay for them).  We only ended up interviewing one team and both Nick and I felt confident that they were the ones for us.  Gentle Wave Birth Services is made up of Caitlin Novak and Kelly Kleiderer.  They are a team of sisters who not only provide labor doula services, but postpartum care and lactation consulting as well.

We signed a contract to put a hold on our due date and are guaranteed that one of them will be with us throughout the entire labor (starting from the early onset of labor at home through 2 hours post-delivery).  We also have a pre-birth meeting to discuss our expectations for the birth and write our birth plan and a post-birth meeting focused on nursing support.  I’ll write a more in-depth post later about what doulas do, but suffice to say that they’ll be providing much-needed physical, mental and emotional support for both Nick and I during the delivery (note: they do not do anything medically related).

The younger of the two sisters is Caitlin Novak (pictured above).  In addition to being a labor doula, she is also trained as a postpartum doula, which is someone who comes into your home during the 6 weeks after the birth to provide additional support and newborn care as needed.

The older sister is Kelly Kleiderer.  Kelly is also a trained labor doula.  She has a nursing background and is in the process of working towards becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife.  Kelly’s specialty is breastfeeding, as she is a certified lactation consultant as well.  I can’t tell you how excited we are to have found this team.  It’s so comforting to have all our birth and newborn care resources in one.

So there you have it.  Pretty dynamo team, huh?  We sure think so!

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